"It sounds like you have a hardware problem"

Oh really?

Because with the term 3 red lights of death floating around I was expected a simple reset to fix everything and I was expecting that MS Xbox support would be able to do it from their end. In India.

Yes, a hardware problem but no trouble your Xbox 360 is still under warranty.
"For this problem?"
No completely under warranty.
"Despite this rendition being purchased in January 2006?"
That's what it shows here.

Keep reading, still not to the important part...

Fine, I'll take it. I'm not going to argue myself out of a warranty I shouldn't have. I'm not.

"Are you sure?"
Yes sir, completely sure.

Fine, on to this problem. Hardware you say Sherlock? Fine, ok, fine, but please don't make me redo everything I have already done listed on your trouble shooting website.

Keep reading, still not there....

About your power supply light...
"It's green, always green!"
Oh... Have you unplugged and reconnected all the cables...
"Yes, twice, (and travelled 1176 kilometres round trip with it packed in an overheating car but you don't need to know that)"
Sorry, did you say something.
"Nope, no, uh-uh."
Have you disconnected th...
"Yes, yes, and yes! If you listed it anywhere or it was on a forum I did it. Sometimes twice. Three times on Sunday. I did it! It was me! So there!"
dubious silence (yes, dubious, he was very articulate with his silence)
Okay, It sounds like you have a hardware problem.
"No fracking sh*t sherlock" which fortunately, I only thought and didn't say out loud.
more dubious silence (well I don't think I said it out loud).

Keep reading, almost there....

So we will UPS a coffin (not what he called it but the un-official code name) to you and it will arrive in 3-5 business days. Ship it back to us as quickly as you can.
"Don't worry, I plan to"
Pardon?
"Nothing, go on."

You would think this was it but you would be wrong, close but wrong...

Once we receive it back from you, your repaired or replaced unit will be shipped back to you in 3-4 weeks. "WHAT?!?!" Yes, 3-4 weeks.

Seriously, not it yet. It's next...

So, quickly doing the math in my head... please wait... wait... wait... (Where's Ice's phone number?) almost got it... Ice's phone number that is, not the answer... wait... here it is...

"So that would be early October, if things go well?" Yes sir.

This, this is it...

"When does Halo 3 come out again?"

Frack, frack, frack, frack, frack... what were the results of that Xbox 360 replacement Poll again?