Sex Legends

I was number 27 with 783.

10. BILL WYMAN
CONQUESTS: 1,000-PLUS
In 1965 the Rolling Stones calculated that in a two-year period, Mick Jagger had mounted 30 different women, Keith Richards six, rhythm guitarist Brian Jones 130, drummer Charlie Watts none, and bassist Bill Wyman 278. “You used to have three or four a night sometimes,” Wyman said recently. “You’d spend a couple of hours with them and say bye. Then about half an hour later you’d say, ‘That one in the red dress.’”

9. EARVIN “MAGIC” JOHNSON
CONQUESTS: 1,000-PLUS
The 1,000-plus number for the hard-court wizard who led the Los Angeles Lakers to five championships is a conservative estimate. One report puts the total at up to 500 shtups a year for a dozen years—much of it done, as we all know, without the benefit of condoms. Still, Magic has stayed strong in the face of adversity and proved that an HIV-positive man can survive and even host the worst talk show of all time.

8. LEMMY KILMISTER
CONQUESTS: 1,200
Most guys on this list can be described as handsome. Not Mötorhead frontman Lemmy—unless you have a thing for James Gandolfini–size facial warts. Yet this rock god is pure catnip to the ladies. His secret? Maybe it’s his technique: “I like stroking rather than banging.” Thirty years after founding Mötorhead, he has 1,200 conquests and a Grammy, proving that music lessons are a tremendous investment.

7. JACK NICHOLSON
CONQUESTS: 2,000-PLUS
He’s one of the few people to win multiple Oscars and also do multiple Oscar winners. Kim Basinger described Jack as “the most highly sexed individual I ever met.” He also showed his Oscar to Academy Award–winning actresses Anjelica Huston, Faye Dunaway, and his One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest costar Louise Fletcher. And he’s plowed through a number of Oscarless celebrities, too, like Michelle Phillips, Candice Bergen, and Lara Flynn Boyle, not to mention hundreds and hundreds of regular gals for good measure.

6. ILIE NASTASE
CONQUESTS: 2,500
This Romanian was a good tennis player (he won two grand slam titles in the ’70s) who would’ve been forgotten (the man played frickin’ tennis) if not for his wicked behavior. “Nasty,” as he was called, had a real knack for gaining access to the ladies’ love shacks, as 2,500 chicas can attest. Recently, he mused, “A lot of sex in those days was like taking a shower. You take one, it feels nice, then you forget it.” Let’s hear it for cleanliness!

5. ENGELBERT HUMPERDINCK
CONQUESTS: 3,000
Who knew? The strangely named soft-rock sensation has had more ladies than Kid Rock and Chris Rock combined. Born in 1936 as Arnold Dorsey, he switched to the stage name Engelbert Humperdinck and achieved an endless supply of hoochies with the hit song “Release Me” in 1967. His memoir, What’s in a Name?, includes a chapter where his wife of over 40 years discusses how his many betrayals made her feel (not good), to which Engelbert replied, “Forgiveness is one of the greatest things you can give.”

4. JULIO IGLESIAS
CONQUESTS: 3,000-PLUS
Enrique’s randy old dad set out to be a soccer goalie, but when a car accident damaged his spinal cord he needed to find a new line of work. He settled on music and intercourse. After winning a Spanish singing contest in 1968, he went on to sell 200 million records and boink nearly as many ladies. Iglesias is usually credited with 3,000 notches on his bedpost, but in 2004 he called the number into question, musing, “That probably was until 1976, so they didn’t count the other women.”

3. GENE SIMMONS
CONQUESTS: 4,600
In 1973 Gene started his band Kiss with two goals: make tons of money and score hordes of foxy tail. “I was a 24-hour whore,” he once said. “All I ever thought about was sex.” The long-tongued man-slut has led his group to cash in on all possible merchandising angles (get a Kiss-themed coffin!), while still tagging everything within reach. “The male species manufactures billions of sperm,” he declared. “The only problem with women is they think all those sperm we make are just for them.” Way to share, Gene!

2. CHARLIE SHEEN
CONQUESTS: 5,000
The son of Martin and brother of Emilio Estevez has an infamous lust for hookers. The irony is, of course, that Charlie’s also quite capable of getting ladies who’ll do the deed gratis. It’s how he managed to rack up 5,000 pairs of boots knocked—including those of porn star Ginger Lynn and stunning soon-to-be ex-wife Denise Richards. Denise and Charlie have split, allegedly because she failed to take his observation, “You’re definitely one of the hottest 1,000 or so women I’ve banged, baby,” as a compliment (that’s top 20 percent, missy).

1. UMBERTO BILLO
CONQUESTS: 8,000
Despite lacking fame, wealth, and U.S. citizenship, this Italian hotel porter insists he’s “made around 8,000 women happy,” sometimes entertaining four tourists a night. Umberto, whose talents came to worldwide attention when he appeared on the British TV show Eurotrash, claims he inspired tremendous brand loyalty—“They crossed oceans to see me”—as the ladies repeatedly returned to sample his services. Indeed, after his Venetian employer axed him from his porterly duties, an American businesswoman rushed to Billo’s defense: “I must have spent thousands in the hotel because of him!” His ex-boss remained unimpressed, complaining, “Sometimes he was too exhausted to carry the guests’ luggage.” Hey, the man’s not a machine.