Grumpy old Zombie?

Where oh where is Grumpy Old A Troll?

It seems that at far as Herd of Cats is concerned A Troll has dropped of the Xbox Live map. Why? We are on, he is on, but it has been months since A Troll has joined one of our parties or one of our games.

It took substantial investigation to get to the core of this issue.

Realizing that A Troll hasn't played with us since HoC began their fascination with Zombies, specifically Nazi Zombies and the extermination of said Nazi Zombies the crack investigative HoC team got kicked out the door to investigate further. "Go out already you damn cat!" Is there a connection?

*Gasp*

Turns out there is.

What is it you ask?

Is A Troll secretly a Zombie lover? A Nazi Zombie lover? Is that even possible?

Well, HoC fans, it is worse. Much worse. Worse than even you can imagine.

With tons of supporting documentation discovered it is apparent that the clandestine Zombie invasion of California has begun. A Troll has in fact become a victim of the Zombie Horde – A Troll is a Zombie!

Say it isn't so!

I am afraid I can not. First Stormblade, now A Troll. While Stormblade, being the psychopath that he is, has no issues with killing his own (okay re-killing. "get back in the ground!"), A Troll being a kinder, gentler soul *hack, cough* can not bring himself to join in the wholesale slaughter of his own kind – other Zombies.

A Troll has become a Zombie victim as the U.S. Western seaboard is slowly taken over by the covert, furtive, hush-hush, surreptitious, unsuspected, secret, hidden Zombie Horde. A Secret War of Zombies. Let me repeat that, A ... Secret ... War ... of ... Zombies!

If you weren't concerned before you should be now.

We must get the truth out! California has become a Zombie State. The free world must be informed!

But what can you do?

Nothing. At least not yet. I know this will cause you to seeth secretly in your Anti-Zombie Basement Lair but now is not the time. We must keep A Troll blissfully unaware that we have uncovered his dark sordid secret. We must let him continue his secret double life while we prepare. We must build up our forces against the Zombie incursion while keeping the Zombie Horde unaware of our preparations. When they throw the covers off of their secret conspiracy we will be ready. We must catch them unaware. It will be a short and hopefully victorious war. Surprise goes to the the enemy! No wait, surprise is to the morale like... no, ummm... brilliant Pinky but..., no... wait... Napoleon said it:

that you should establish your cantonments at the most distant and best protected point from the enemy, especially where a surprise is possible.

See, clear as day. Surprise is important. Kind of. I think.

My heart is heavy, however, as it cries out for the first casualty of the Secret War of Zombies — A Troll. Alas, a necessary sacrifice and one we will make willingly when the time comes. Or sooner. You know, if necessary... or opportune.

Supporting Documentation:

Zombies taking over California

California: Promised Land or a Zombie State?

TOPIC: Brain Eating Zombies Invade America. "Only the Brainless are safe," Govt. warns!

Zombie activity at large bay in the Pacific Ocean

Zombies invade the San Francisco Apple Store! (is nothing sacred?)

World War Z.

Survival in San diego, California