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Here is something...


By Akuf - Posted on 17 August 2009

You don't hear or see very often.
DisasterPiece scared?!?!?! WTF?
I am sure if some of you were present you would be laughing at my expense.
One of my personal training clients asked if we can go to the Queensview goodlife location because her kids liked the child minding there. I agreed.

Anyway there was this guy that was tattooed for head to toe. I mean literally! So he was on the station I wanted her to use and she grabbed me and said no don't go near him he is crazy! Me being the courageous guy that I am I said bah! I am not afraid. So, I went to the guy and he saw me approaching in the mirror, he turned, barked and growled at me. So, as most of you know I am the 'react now, ask questions later' type mentality, I immediately went into a defensive stance. and buddy was still growling at me. Another guy got in between us and told me don't. Following his advice I walked away but I was definitely freaked. Then I asked what was the deal with him. He answered nobody knows, he is just crazy I guess.

MauriceRevek's picture

I wonder which post will have the most reads / posts / activity this month.

Akuf's picture

:)

Swag's picture

In other news, you offer personal training sessions?

Akuf's picture

Amongst other things....but most of those other things, as much as you love to, you are not eligible but your Egyptian girl is though.

Swag's picture

But I have been thinking about getting some training sessions.....well if I had you you would probably just work me to death just for your own amusement. I guess I can understand that though....but it would be more fun with someone like Q-bert or Revek.

Akuf's picture

you would probably just work me to death just for your own amusement.
This is true but it would also be for your own benefit.

And you being a pure ectomorph you would be a challenge for sure (well depending on your goals).

Swag's picture

I think it's a good thing to have a fast metabolism.

And how would I improve my bone structure exactly?

But I have gained about 2-3 pounds lately, and it's not fat.

Akuf's picture

2-3 pounds lately, and it's not fat.

How do you know?

What I usually tell the classic ectomorphs is do some variant of a 5x5 routine (there are many out there just search) and combine it with GOMAD (Gallon Of Milk A Day, again search).

Swag's picture

I've been at a steady 150lbs for years and if i've just started going to the gym (and taking a protein supplement), so if I am gaining fat then that just doesn't make sense.

I'll keep that 5X5 routine in mind...but no milk.

Akuf's picture

You are really clueless....

1) weight gain fluctuates 5-10lbs/day on everyone.
2) Diet and recovery is 80% of the battle whether you want to lose/gain weight, lose fat, or gain muscle. You can spend 24 hours a day in the gym if your diet doesn't support your goals you will fail.

Are you eating 150g protein/day?
Are you eating at maintenance, bulk, cut range?
It's ok if you don't want the milk. But if you want to gain muscle/weight that is one of the best ways to do it.

Gaining Muscle without gaining fat is next to impossible. Easy way gain weight first. If you do it right you will gain 70-80% muscle and 20-30% fat then lose the fat afterwards. Unless of course you go on steroids but that is a different ball game all together.

Before I continue this rant, I may as well ask what are your goals?

Swag's picture

I am clueless.

But my weight does not fluctuate 5-10lbs a day, probably more around 1-3. I agree about the diet aspect, and I am trying to change that.

I don't eat 150g of protein a day, and that seems very high to me.

I don't know what you mean by maintenance, bulk, or cut range.

My short term goal is to gain 10lbs of muscle, and my long term goal is to be He-Man.

MauriceRevek's picture

Weigh yourself when you get up, at noon and before you go to bed, you would typically see a variance of 5 - 10 lbs. Just from the food you are eating and fluids you are drinking.

The maintenance, bulk and cut reference is the diet you are eating. Are you eating to maintain your weight, gain or cut.

Given yoru metabolic rate, to gain, you would probably need to eat 25,000 calories per half day.

As Disater says, gaining 10lbs of muscle on your type of frame and physiology, may take a few months, and pumping weight alone will not help. It may tone you or harden what you already have, but adding mass requires additional intake of food. Basic laws of physics, nothing is lost, and nothing is created. In order to gain mass, that mass has to come from somewhere, and for muscle, that is the intake of food combined with excercise or strenuous physical activity. No excersice produces fat (yes, I know, I opened the door. You can do all the Stormblade jokes you want).

Just look at him, it took him 20 years to grow the concreet between his ears ;)

Swag's picture

I am actually more interested in getting toned, but adding some muscle weight would be nice. I have been trying to increase my food intake as well, trying 4 'meals' a day now. Sometimes it can be tough to stick with that though.

Akuf's picture

If you're going to wear gloves at the gym make sure they match your purse.

Swag's picture

n/t

Akuf's picture

All the latte drinkin losers goto the gym with all this unnecessary equipment where the serious guys like me don't.

And it is considered to be wimpy to wear gloves hence the statement. So, if you go to gym where I am present (or most serious powerlifters/bodybuilders) and we see you are wearing gloves we usually think wimp!

Swag's picture

All I bring is my mp3 player.

Akuf's picture

Wilson Phillips in it?

Akuf's picture

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS GETTING TONED!!!!!

it bugs the hell out of me when I hear people say that.

Swag's picture

What should I say then?

Akuf's picture

I'm improving my body structure

You can not 'tone' your body.
You lose body fat or gain muscle mass.

"There is no such thing toner and firmer there is only stronger and weaker"
- Rippetoe

MauriceRevek's picture

From Webster

9 a : the state of a living body or of any of its organs or parts in which the functions are healthy and performed with due vigor b : normal tension or responsiveness to stimuli; specifically : muscular tonus 10 a : healthy elasticity : resiliency b : general character, quality, or trend c : frame of mind : mood

Therefore when you tone your muscles, you are making them perform and stretch to their optimal condition.

Just because a meat head thinks of music when he hears tone does not change its definition.

It has been around in since the 14th century:

Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French tun, ton, from Latin tonus tension, tone, from Greek tonos, literally, act of stretching; akin to Greek teinein to stretch — more at thin
Date: 14th century

So you can very well say you are toning your body, in that you are improving your musculatures stretchability and elasticity. And by extension, you are improving you basic body makeup.

So there :P

MauriceRevek's picture

Poutine
8 scoop Sundays
76 ouncer steak

If you can do all of that in one sitting, your golden. Forget vegetables. They are empty and not worth the effort.

And no fruit. You are what you eat.

What else?

Oh yes. May West and Pepsi. Breakfast of champions.

Akuf's picture

Isn't May West like 90 years old now?

* Shutters *

Before any comments from the peanut gallery yes I know it is spelled Mae West.

Coxxorz's picture

n/t

Akuf's picture

you got me.

Akuf's picture

You are correct mostly, I think stormblade was full of concrete when he was born.

Thank goodness for Google eh..revek?...lol

Here is one of my favorite metaphors for the science behind bodybuilding


I like to use a construction worker analogy to explain this. Imagine that your muscles are like a house you're trying to build. The bricks used to build the house represent the amino acids (from the ingestion of protein) while the money you're paying the workers (so that they'll do the work) represents the carbs and fat you eat.

Finally, the workers represent the factors involved in the protein synthesis process (Testosterone mainly) and the truck bringing the bricks to the workers represent insulin (which plays a capital role in transporting the nutrients to the muscle cells).

If you don't give the workers enough bricks (protein) they won't be able to build the house as fast as they could. So in that regard, an insufficient protein intake will slow down muscle growth.

Similarly, if you don't pay your workers enough (low carbs or fat intake) they won't be as motivated to work hard. As a result, the house won't be built very rapidly. In fact, if you really cut the workers' pay, they might even get mad, go on strike, and start demolishing the house (catabolism due to an excessively low caloric intake). So in that regard, not consuming enough protein or calories to support muscle growth will lead to a slower rate of gains.

Now, what happens if you start to send more bricks (increase protein intake) to the workers? Well, they'll be able to build the house more rapidly because they aren't lacking in raw material. However, at some point, sending more and more bricks won't lead to a faster rate of construction because the workers can only perform so much work in any given amount of time. For example, if your crew can add 1000 bricks per day to the walls, giving them 2000 bricks per day will be useless: it exceeds their work capacity. So the excess bricks will go to waste (literally).

In the same regard, if you increase your workers' salary (increase caloric intake) chances are their motivation will also increase and as a result they'll build the house faster. However, just like with bricks, there comes a point where increasing the workers' salary won't have any effect on the house-building rate: the workers will reach their physical limit. Once this limit is reached you can increase their salary all you want; they won't be able to add bricks to the house any faster.

What I'm trying to say is you can't bully your body into building muscle by force-feeding it. Adding nutrients and calories will have a positive effect on muscle growth until you reach your saturation point. After that, any additional calories will be stored as body fat.

So while it's true the more you eat the bigger you'll get, the additional weight will be in the form of fat, not muscle tissue.

taken from: here

MauriceRevek's picture

Qualified the concrete comment better. I was referring to you :)

Coxxorz's picture

His goal is chicks.

Swag's picture

n/t

Akuf's picture

You need a lot more work then just changing your body structure.

You need to know how to talk to them.
Remember a while back I explained woman's sense of attraction is like a dial? So let's say the dial goes 1-10

Yes, I will agree if you are physically attractive it gives you and advantage do her dial will go up to 8 let's say. If you approach her and act like a douche bag, boring, needy, or negative that dial will go down to zero.

On the other hand if you're not physically attractive. Her dial will be 0. But if you make being around you fun and interesting her dial moves up. But the thing is DON'T ACT LIKE IT. because they will know if you are faking it or not.

Swag's picture

I am working on it. The hardest part is the cold approach...

Akuf's picture

Just pick something on her to talk about.
Or pick some other known topic.

Example: one of my classic openers is the palm reader thing.

Hey, how are you I was wondering if you could help me out. A friend of mine got me into this palm reading thing and I was wondering if I can practice on you?

OR

Have seen/hear my friends and I are trying to gauge what people think.

OR
Pick something on her (shirt, earrings whatever).
And make some witty thing or compliment her on it.

One thing I like doing is when they wear those clips that hold your hair back. One of my classic lines is hey that looks like a dollar store thing.

I do offer lessons in that respect also.

Coxxorz's picture

"If I said you had a great body, would you hold it against me?"

The thing with Aku's lines is, I find them to be very obvious. So unless you have his level of "game" to back them up, consider using it as a form of humour. E.g.: "Sorry, that was really lame. Can I start over?". And voila, you're talking to a cute chick. Or guy. You know, whatever you're into.

Akuf's picture

whatever you're into.

I have heard him talk about donkeys

The is what it is all about dude...humour. It's amazing when you make the laugh they fall nicely in the palm of my hand or hands depending on how I am facing them.

Akuf's picture

Do you think I would be a good vampire?

Maybe I can me the main character in Stormblade's new book?

How this happened...
Long story short...
She asked for a lap dance.
So I gave her one....wound being a full body massage...

And the rest as they say is history....

MauriceRevek's picture

Disaster giving a lap dance. Now I am scared for life.

Thank you so much for the thousands of dollars I am now going to have to spend in therapy and electro shock therapy to try to erase these images.

Akuf's picture

You are scared

But just think of it this way whatever doesn't kill you will leave you scarred

Q-Bert's picture

Hey! Nice.... errrrrrr...... buttons!

Coxxorz's picture

Being a confirmed Lagomorph myself, it's very handy to be able to eat whatever I want, whenever I want.

MauriceRevek's picture

I read Legomorph, and was wondering why you were comparing yourself to Blackwalt.

Coxxorz's picture

And I would never compare myself to Blackwalt.

MauriceRevek's picture

n/t

Coxxorz's picture

Q-bert: "Spot me!"
Aku: "There's no weights on the bar yet."

Akuf's picture

He had enough trouble trying to pick up betsy

And he also was quite mesmorized at my ability to pull out nails with pliers at his bathroom destruction party

Swag's picture

n/t

Akuf's picture
Coxxorz's picture

Just pick up his girlfriend. That'll show him who's boss.

Akuf's picture

You had to see this guy...
I don't think any sane woman would go near him.

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