Modern Warfare 2 glitchers to receive Xbox live suspensions

Every once in a while, the dark clouds over the internet part, revealing that there is, in fact, a god up there.

In this case, the god's name is Stephen Toulouse, Microsoft's Director of Policy and Enforcement for Xbox Live. Personally, I prefer the OLD gods' names as they were much shorter (e.g.: Thor, Krom). But the key word here is enforcement. But first, some background...

Last week Graybush, JDM and I were witness to something new in the Call of Duty universe: the Exploding Dude. We were "enjoying" a typical night of the usual grind in Ground War, which is the last remaining multiplayer mode where you aren't forced to listen to the Morons, Squeakers, Rappers and Bigots (or combinations thereof). After a lobby merge, we found ourselves matched up with an abnormally large clan. So much so, that their team of 9 was full, and one of their players ended up on our side. "HA!", I thought. "We get a ringer playing for us." But as the game progressed, something felt wrong.

Now I'm no big fan of this latest version of Modern Warfare, in fact I've taken to calling it "SpawnDie". But after noting that I seemed to be dying a little more frequently than usual, someone (possibly JDM) remarked that he seemed to be dying every time he killed someone. After a little closer observation, this indeed turned out to be the case. The other team was clearly ALL packing the same kit: riot shield and Javelin missile. And anyone within twenty feet of them when they died would themselves be instantly borne up towards the heavens in a dusty fireball. But how?

A quick Google later, and JDM found the culprit: "the Javelin Glitch". Apparently arming a Sentex grenade and switching to the Javelin invokes the glitch that fires the rocket instead of dropping the nade when you die. Cute.

Needless to say, we lost the match. But to add insult to injury, the "JAV" player on our team racked up a whopping ZERO kills, and just as many assists. Now I didn't expect his/her top games, considering they were playing against their buddies. But this is the first time in all the years of Call of Duty I can say I have ever actually witnessed the "spy cheat" that caused Infinity Ward to block Party Chat during Team Deathmatch. The one they found so heinous that they felt it necessary to force us to listen to the aforementioned MoronicRappingSqueakerBigots every... fucking... game. Good job there, guys. Thanks. FYI: they would have won anyway.

So it was with Double-Wielded Glee that I read the news about jokers using the Javelin glitch on Toulouse's Twitter page:

"While IW works on getting the MW2 glitch fixed, people we catch using it will receive suspensions from LIVE. Play fair everyone."

He clarified later: "Using a glitch in a game to get an advantage is explicitly called out in the ToU. It's not like people are doing it by accident."

But apparently a certain group of people took exception to the news, compelling him to write further: "Wow some of you think cheating a glitch is ok. um. If I install my car stereo wrong and it disables my door locks, it's not ok to STEAL MY CAR."

I can only imagine which group of players might have whined about this policy. But it may have something to do with my filing a complaint against all ten members of JAV Clan. I mean seriously guys, who names themselves after the cheat they're using? I look forward to meeting up with you all again after your 2-week suspension for a real game of MW2.

You'll know us by our new clan tag: "USUK".

Video link courtesy of Graybush. I particularly like the Benny Hill music.