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Xbox Watch Day 2: The Call

By Coxxorz - Posted on 08 June 2010

So the Xbox Phone Support Monkey was actually okay, but definitely new to the job.

Couldn't have been more than 17 years old. He was seriously taken aback when I corrected him that it was an original Halo edition, not the Halo ODST console. As if he wasn't yet born when my Xbox emerged from the fiery bowels of Vulcan's forge. The date on the sticker suggests he would have been at least well into the throes of puberty.

"Your warranty is good until December 2010," came the squeaky reply, in an odd mix French/East Indian/Midwest accents.

It was amusing to hear him stumble his lines, frequently catching himself repeating questions, and stammeringly punctuate each sentence with "just to let you know...". But the uncomfortable part didn't come until he paused to wait for a reference number to be generated (an event he felt necessary to warn me about several times in advance). It went something like this:

Dude: So, did you watch the NBA draft?

Me: What? Umm... no.

Dude: What kind of sports to you like?

Me: (Is this guy hitting on me?) I'm more into auto racing.

Dude: Oh, cool.

Thankfully the aforementioned reference number arrived, breaking the awkward flirtation. Was this supposed to be the "human" part of Microsoft's console repair script, like "Zack", their automated phone labyrinth attendant? I didn't get much time to think about it, as the conversation inevitably turned to the Extended Warranty sales pitch.

Here the dude's demeanor changed slightly, and the stammer was gone.

"Just to let you know, the repaired console is good for 90 days from when you receive it. But you can extend that to three years." Clearly he had been practicing this part, no doubt because MS offers an incentive based on units sold. But there was no pressure. I asked how much out of curiosity, and he proceeded to look it up, as it "depends on a variety of factors". I presume they check how many RROD's you've submitted in the past, to gauge how abusive you are to your electronics.

"That would be $26 for 1 year and $52 for 2 years for you in Canada."

Ouch, way to remind me that I live in a better country than you. So much for asking you out. And what happened to the three years? Is there a big red flag on my account saying "Do not sell 3yr warranty! Igloos hard on consoles, lol"? I decided not to push the issue, since our 5-minute conversation had already gone on for 15 minutes.

That, and I'm sure the dude had some zits to attend to.

Tomorrow: Xbox Watch Day 3: Where's that damn box?


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