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BREAKING! New vasectomy technique!

By Q-Bert - Posted on 10 June 2008

I prefer the one used by Dr. Weis.

Notice the silence of all involved...

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Akuf's picture

Let's see...

1) Splitting chin from the top of my lip from the top to the bottom of my chin thinking I was superman (I was 5).
2) I left half my left hamstring on a go cart track
3) leaving a good chunk of my right arm on a barb wire fence while in training
4) Broke my leg unlocking my door
5) Got the back door of UPS truck slammed into my face and knocked me out.
6) Got hit in the back of the head with a remote control plane
7) Getting knocked out be an OC Transpo mirror on the sidewalk
8) Got hit buy car slipped into a coma for 2 days
9) Tore my left ACL (ligament in the knee for those who don't know) trying to prevent myself from dancing with a fat chick.
10) dislocated my shoulder while rock climbing
11) nailed my foot to my roof
12) fell off my chair at work numerous times with one actually causing a concussion.
13) several cases of road rash while biking
14) had my nose broken by some idiot who punched me but wind up breaking his wrist and forearm.
15) got wacked in the back of the head several times with various bar objects.
16) while playing ultimate got the disc squarely in the nuts at about 80 km/hour
17) while playing ultimate got kicked in the nuts...but that time I was wearing a cup unfortunately buddies foot got the one spot that wasn't covered.
18) Split my head open Running into Glass doors Remember that Revek

There are several others but I don't want to write a book I just added the more memorable ones.

Half-pint's picture

Tubes!: That's just not fair.Tubes!: That's just not fair.

  1. ID chip implanted half way down arm (twitched)

  • Fixed!!! No skateboard
  • Can't pee – crystals. Valium required.
  • Fell through wire shelf, caught leg (Bit owner during rescue – not as tasty as one would think)
  • Overweight (Diagnosed!) put on special diet
  • Claw removed
  • Feline Immunodeficiency Virus. Let's not talk about this again
  • Ripped 2 inch gap in my back
  • Claw almost removed, 2 weeks anti-biotics instead
  • Bitten again
  • Nose skin burned off by caustic substance
  • Soaked in car coolant (no vet this time)
  • Bitten again. Tail shaved
  • Sliced open gum inside mouth (teeth seen through gash - 3 weeks antibiotics)
  • Arm swelled up because I was bitten (5 times same fight)
  • Tail swelled up because I was bitten
  • Bite on chest ripped open by constant licking (3 weeks antibiotics again)
  • Bitten
  • Supper 2 hours late one day last July
  • Locked between front door and screen door. Twice!

    What can I say, tough squirrels in my neighbourhood. There are several others but I'm a cat and can't write a book. I just added the more memorable ones.

  • Stormblade's picture

    You're my hero. But you already knew that.

    Q-Bert's picture

    4) Broke my leg unlocking my door

    That must have been one heavy key...

    Akuf's picture

    it was winter and icy.

    I unlocked my door and when I walked in I slipped. My right leg landed on the bottom part of the frame sideways causing the break.

    Stormblade's picture


    Coxxorz's picture

    Poor bastard... how's he supposed to look cool without his headphones?!!!

    Q-Bert's picture

    According to his website, that young gentleman will be headlining the new broadway adaptation of The Nutcracker.

    Stormblade's picture


    A Troll's picture

    If it was me that ran in to the wire like that, I'd be yelling and screaming every cuss word in the World. Maybe he did it before and didn't have to worry about the family jewels this time.

    Also, the dumb ass goes and sits in the street to put on his shoe?

    Coxxorz's picture

    Well what did you expect from the brain that refuses to protect itself with a helmet?

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