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How My Life Sucks


By MauriceRevek - Posted on 21 October 2008

I went to EB Games today to pick up my copy of Fable 2 (shut up Stormblade). Yes, i do like to play story driven games with RPG elements. The same way I enjoyed Bioshock, Fable 1, Dead Space). I opened up the game and started to play. The begining character development is quite similar to Fable 1, where you are presented with situations which will determine if you will be a hero or a monster. Things like keep the wine away from the drunk, get the arest warrants for the guard, save the dog from the taunting from the bully, and so on.

Later, the dog joins you as your faithful companion helping you along by sniffing out burried treasure, alerting you to come and dig at certain spots. Well, while walking down one of the many paths, my loyal companion starts to bark, and runs to a spot close to a tree. Yes! I think to myself. Buried treasure. Now I will be able to buy myself that new sword.

I take out my trusty shovel, and star to dig. After two scoops, I find the buried treasure.

Wait for it.....

A condom........ Made of animal guts.

My life sucks.

Blackwalt's picture
Blackwalt's picture

You better know how to use it!

According to our staff Fable 2 expert the condoms are sold in-game for 5 gold pieces and he suggests that you had better use them.

Your Fable 2 hero can catch STDs (in-game) and then you get the joy of watching your health constantly decreasing!

So buy them, learn how to use them and remember that unlike reality there is a chance, a small chance, that you may have sex in the game.

Which is just final proof that it make believe.

Akuf's picture

This is actually true!

And you can get pregnant if you're a female character.
I have always wondered what it was like to breast feed.

Woohoo

MauriceRevek's picture

I guess that means I have to get my character to the healer.

Coxxorz's picture

Would you really want use a sheep gut condom that your dog found buried next to a tree?

Akuf's picture

....this is Revek we are talking about I don't think he knows...

Akuf's picture

...will you know how to use it?

Coxxorz's picture

Condoms were made out of sheep intestine dating back to ancient China.

Look how well it worked out for them!

A Troll's picture

and your character will be getting some later. Perhaps the dog will help you find some willing winch to use your "buried" treasure on.

MauriceRevek's picture

I can find some virtual aspirin to cure her virtual headache.

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