Adventures of DisasterPiece

Episode: I lost count.

Well Volleyball Girl #4 and I went for breakfast this morning at the Lieutenant's Pump.
She over hears this other group girls talking about Megan Fox's thumbs and how disgusting they are.

Side note: This is the second time I had this conversation this week about Megan Fox's thumbs. I already knew what they looked like. I actually want to re-watch Transformers to see if I notice them.

Now, I am thinking these are jealous women who are trying to find something wrong with Megan Fox. Because you know some women (not all) do that kind of thing (yes let the flaming begin).

So, me being the social guy that I am I asked them (MFH=Megan Fox Hater):
Me: Are you guys just looking for an excuse to bash Megan Fox?
MFH1: No, she really has bizarre thumbs.
VBall Girl4: What do you mean?

At this point I take out my phone and search

MFH2: He will find it.

This is one of many pictures that I found

So I find it and I say: Well you know what everything else distracts me from staring at her thumbs.

MFH1: Yeah well you're a typical guy
Me: And you a typical jealous woman who tries to make herself feel better by finding things wrong with everyone else.

At this point VBall Girl4 is smiling because she knows my attitude.

MFH1 looks at VBall girl and says: Wow you picked a real winner honey.
VBall Girl#4: Yes, I did and you must be jealous aren't you

Now, I am smiling.

MFH1: Yeah well it's women like you that give women a bad reputation.
VBall Girl4: Oh really? and why is that? is it because you sit around feeling sorry for yourself and because you're such a prude that no man would want you or perhaps it could be that you think you're better than everyone else and you can't find anyone that meets your standards. Sweetheart, before you go around bashing people you don't know please take a moment and look at yourself in the mirror ask yourself what you need to improve. Because looking at you and judging by the way you're talking you need a lot of improvement.

Now, I am thinking cat fight!

Really loudly
MFH1: You F****n classless w***e
the people around us, kinda stopped and went silent
In a calm collected voice:
VBall Girl4: oh I am the classless..eh? nice language skills you have. You seem to getting the attention you want now.

At this point the owner of the pump who I know quite well came over.
And asked if there was a problem.

MFH1: These people are rude and inconsiderate.
Me: Hmmm, we are not the ones everyone hears though.

MFH1: I have never been so insulted in my life.
Me: Really? is that because no one wants to be near you? And the lack of human interaction in turn causes no one to insult you. And the people who are around you think that as well but they feel sorry for you and tolerate your BS.

At this point things calmed down the Megan Fox haters leave.
And VBall Girl and I continue our conversation.

Me: Megan Fox does have weird thumbs though. But I think I would still date her.
VBall Girl4: I am sure you would.
Me: Hey you know what they say? Don't judge a book by it's cover.
VBall Girl4: I certainly didn't
Me: laughs! oh you got me good.