You are hereBlogs / Akuf's blog / DisasterPiece Funnies

DisasterPiece Funnies


By Akuf - Posted on 30 September 2009

Some of us here are actually old enough to have colonoscopies.
I know QBert has, I have as well. Here are some funny comments made by patients.
I actually said #1.
Except I said: "You should be honoured as you're going where no man has gone before"

Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous….. A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. “Take it easy, Doc. You’re boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. “Find Amelia Earhart yet?”
3. “Can you hear me NOW?”
4. “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?”
5. “You know, in Arkansas, we’re now legally married.”
6. “Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?”
7. “You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out…”
8. “Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!”
9. “If your hand doesn’t fit, you must quit!
10. “Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.”
11. “You used to be an executive at Enron, didn’t you?”
12 . “God, now I know why I am not gay.”
And the best one of all..
13. “Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?”

MauriceRevek's picture

Bring little bits of carrots, give them to the doctor and tell him: Here, can you feed the gerbil while your there?

Akuf's picture

I am sure your doctor wont have to push as hard.

Coxxorz's picture

But I said "Let me know if you find my car keys."

Stormblade's picture

My first thought was that QBert probably said "Is it in yet?"

Q-Bert's picture

n/t

Akuf's picture

That really doesn't help your case.

Swag's picture

When I get that old, they'll have the pill cam for me.

I hope.

Stormblade's picture

Better than your usual "Bring a harlot home" stories.

Swag's picture

Maybe out of jealousy, or disgust, but probably a combination of both.

Akuf's picture

But that's ok there is a good chance that soon the Harlot stories may come to an end.

More on this soon...

MauriceRevek's picture

They will become (what is the male version of harlot?) stories.

Akuf's picture

Out everyone I know you should know what a what is the male version of harlot is

But in all seriousness though.

I think it is time to hang up the PUA shoes for a while.
I am having warm and fuzzy feelings, though it could be the swine flu.

COVID-19 Information

HoC's Most Anticipated

RANDOM QUOTE OF THE WEEK

I wear the mask to protect the people closest to me.

-Batman

HoC Random Poll

Why aren't you playing Red Dead Redemption 2?:

Recent comments

Random HoC Story

HoC X-Com Enemy Unknown – the Fifth day
Two heavies leave. Only one returns. I don't know how else to say this, Cpl. Pwn Call (Coxxorz) is...

WORLD MAP: IT'S RED TO HIDE THE BLOOD

Hatfall

From Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee presents, Hatfall (cue Adele)

Who's online

There are currently 0 users and 6 guests online.

Random HoC Image

vsgaragedoor2