MS Xbox Support makes me go hmmmm

Microsoft Support has added confusion and disinformation to their campaign against me.

It's working. I have no idea what they are thinking and am totally confused. I really am overestimating their competence and trust me, my estimate is low.

In our continuing correspondence (on varying subjects) they sent me a letter. Not just any letter but a support letter.

"Dear Wireless Racing Wheel Owner:"

WTF? When did I get one of those?

"Thank you for registering to receive the free wireless wheel retrofit."

Thank you for what? I don't own one and didn't register for a retrofit. Although I did know that those things burst into flames and that there was a recall.

I am officially confused. So confused that I am searching the house. It mean, it's remotely possible isn't it? There could be a Wireless Racing Wheel tucked away in a corner somewhere couldn't there? Microsoft knows what they are doing don't they? I could have bought one in the middle of a drunken stupor. Or more than one. Oh my god! Should I be expecting more letters?

Maybe I am taking this the wrong way. Maybe MS support is just so good that they are supporting me in the off chance that I thought briefly of buying a Wireless Racing Wheel? Maybe they are just being proactive. Really extremely proactive.

Seriously though, if my imaginary Wireless Racing Wheel had an imaginary fault wouldn't I look bad if I didn't imagine registering for an imaginary retrofit? What if it causes my house to burst into imaginary flames? Quick I had better imagine that my retrofit has already happened and that my imaginary Wireless Racing Wheel is already fixed. There... done. And much faster than the MS Support method. And won't I be embarrassed now if my house catches on fire. Microsoft would have the last laugh then, wouldn't they.

The letter also states that I will be receiving a pre-paid shipping carton for me to send back my faulty Wireless Racing Wheel. What happens if I don't send one back? Am I legally required to send back a Wireless Racing Wheel? Is this some ingenious scam to force me to buy a Wireless Racing Wheel? Worthy of the Rogers negative billing scam?

What to do, what to do. Do I:

• pass on the box to Snuffy D to help with his move?
• pass on the box to MoriceRevek to help with his move?
• hang on to the box as a monument to MS Support's incompetence?

or...

• send back the box empty just to see what could happen?

Hmmm... maybe it is my turn to confuse them?

What do you mean empty? I sent you a perfectly good box of air!

Best of all, Microsoft pays for shipping both ways.