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Marvel Ultimate Alliance: Third Dog Night


By Blackwalt - Posted on 25 October 2007

Making natural hazards look good

So Stormblade(Colossus) and I (Spiderman) entered into Atlantis last night to save Namor, accompanied by AI Invisible Woman and Captain America.

It did not go well.

We went through the first section okay, still alive anyway and managed to save Namor. When he and Invisible Woman had an entirely scripted sequence we realized we should be playing as the Fantastic Four and swapped to Human Torch, the Thing and Mr. Fantastic.

Awesome. Plus "20 health per KO" team bonus.

Things deteriorated from there. We did well briefly. I was playing the Human Torch. In Atlantis... I'll let you think about that for a while... We were under fracking!!! water and my super powers were based on fire. No huge fire stream and no cool bursting into flame and flying.

And then we reached the area outside the throne room. Where there were whirlpools. As it turned out vicious, bloodthirsty, man killing whirlpools. Or at least Mr. Fantastic and Thing killing whirlpools. HoC Fantastic Four: making natural hazards look good. What can I say, its a gift.

Strategic withdrawal

So. Screaming like little girls the remaining Fantastic Two (the soaking wet sputtering Human Torch and Invisible Woman) retreated to the nearest S.H.I.E.L.D. Access point to regroup and reassign an new team.

Human Torch (what can I say...), Colossus, Iron Man and Spider Woman (no idea).

Back to the throne room and the man killing whirlpools... and further embarrassment.

Sadly, to advance beyond this section, we had to go online for help where we discovered that it was possible (and simple) to swim over the not so vicious, not so bloodthirsty, not so man killing whirlpools by the simple trick of pressing the "Y" button. Mr. Fantastic doesn't look so smart now, does he?

Enter the Kraken

At the last stage (for us) we ran into the super villain Mandarin.

Sing to the ocean in the afternoon haze,
Up the iron pillars, rise in the waves.
Andromeda is weeping. Inside one teardrop swims
Brave Useless in training less a millimeter thin.
RELEASE THE KRAKEN!
GET THE SACRIFICE ON!
RELEASE THE KRAKEN!
GOOD GD Y'ALL!

-from Release the Kraken by Clutch

Who needless to say released the Kraken. This is were things went really bad. Really, really bad.

Stormblade (Colossus) - "Why am I playing some woman (Spider Woman)? Oh Colossus is dead."

Blackwalt (Iron Man) - "I'm the Human Torch, Iron Man is down."

Stormblade (Spiderwoman) - "It's these yellow arrows in the pillars. Got it. Crap! You're the only one left alive..."

Blackwalt (Human Torch) - "You hit the arrows and then press the buttons as marked on the screen.... Crap!"

.

.

.

.

Blackwalt (No one) - "So, enough for tonight?"

Stormblade (Also No one) - "Yeah, let's try again tomorrow."

Score Kraken: four, HoC Fantastic Four: zero, not a scratch on the other guy.

HoC Fantastic Four: it's important to have a team concept and ours is making Krakens look invincible.

Q-Bert's picture

and we learned this rule:

Bet on Wolverine.

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