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My Eyes!!! My Eyes!!!

By Stormblade - Posted on 30 October 2007


Blackwalt is a good friend, but sometimes you have to take the bad with the good. Take for instance his propensity for finding obscure, really bad science fiction and fantasy series and buying me the second in the series, knowing full well that I will feel obliged to read it. He also knows I will be unable to find the other books in the series, even if I wanted them. As I have mentioned in my blog in the past, this has happened more than once.

So, I wasn't really surprised when I opened my XBox carrying bag pocket that he had stuffed his copy of Ultraviolet into it. This happened just before leaving for the Big Smoke, so I decided to take it along. I mean, I had already been warned about how bad it was, so I was prepared.

I wasn't.

OMG this was a BAD movie. The special effects were so horrendous that I had originally thought they MEANT to have it look like animation. Once I realized this wasn't the case, the movie got worse.

I found myself sympathizing with Revek. As you may know, this is not usually the case. Revek is a team killer. Revek must die! But in this case, I felt twinges of sympathy for his own horrific experience with this movie.

I've decided the real problem with it is that they actually tried to give it a plot. Had they stuck with blood and guts, I think it would have been fine, but the storyline was so convoluted and pathetic, it took any possible enjoyment away from the movie. Oh, did I mention the special effects?? Yes, they were special. They made Highlander III look like an Acadamy Award winning movie.

This movie made Resident Evil: Extinction look like the movie of the year. Yes, it was that bad.

Blackwalt's picture

The Geneva Convention is to protect human rights.

MauriceRevek's picture

I think it falls under the Cruul and Unusual punishment section

Q-Bert's picture


MauriceRevek's picture

Did Blackwalt violate some clause from the Geneva convention by passing this on to you, if he was aware that you would feel obliged in whatching it? Sort of like a drive by shooting?

Oh by the way, Blackwalt, next time you want to give Stormblade a movie for a trip like this, I have:

Battelfield Earth
Kung Pow, the way of the fist
Basic Instinct 2

And a few others that could be just as good that I cannot seem to remember at this time.

Swag's picture

It is one of my life quests! The strange dutch angle shots, the color tinted scenes, and Travolta pretending that he's L. Ron! Fantastic.

Q-Bert's picture

... of Fantastic. You are confusing it with "Oh my God! I must scratch my eyes out and lobotomize myself with a pitchfork!"

MauriceRevek's picture

Hey, Q-Bert is contributong to the site. Must mean he is at work.

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