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Adventures of Aku


By Akuf - Posted on 23 August 2010

Episode: Revek is one of my favorite girls.

As some of you know I had an Austin Powers themed party this past Friday. Revek of course was there along with several of my other friends, including: volleyball girl 2 (VBG2), Montana's Girl (MG), Bikini Model girl 1 (BMG1), Lawyer Girl 2 (LG2) and Real Estate Girl 1 (REG1, who I am seeing ).

We made the movie watching into a drinking game here are the rules in case anyone cares:
[you can skip all this if you wish and continue after the list]
Every time these happen:

you hear "shag" or any other derived term.
you hear "smashing."
you hear "Oh, behave!"
you hear any slang or veiled reference to genitalia or breasts.
Dr. Evil does the pinky maneuver.
Dr. Evil uses "finger quotation marks" to describe something.
Dr. Evil says "Riiiight."
Frau YELLS!
you hear the name of a fake Soviet breakaway republic.
Austin uses his "judo chop."
Dr. Evil says "Shht!" or "Zip it!"
Dr. Evil says "liquid hot MAGMA!"
Dr. Evil asks for one million dollars!
Dr. Evil has a problem with his chair.
Dr. Evil says "freakin'."
you hear the name of one of Dr. Evil's henchmen.
you see Starbucks.
Austin imitates an animal.
Mini-me gives somebody the finger.
Someone uses a time machine

You take a sip of your drink or shot whatever it is you are using at the time.
Towards the end of the first movie. People starting asking for Munchies. So, I went upstairs got all the packages of cheese and meat brought them downstairs. REG1 looks at BMG1 and says: "Wow, typical boy".

So, REG1 and MG take the packages and go upstairs to present them properly. They come downstairs with plates with nicely rolled meat and cheese. Here comes the fun part.

Revek was sitting kind of in between myself and them as they were coming back.
I turned and pointed towards that direction and said: "Look, my favorite lady rolled my meat".
LG2 looks at Revek and asks: "You are his favorite lady?" not realizing that REG1 and MG were beside him.

The party got a little crazy after a while with a few people upstairs violating my couch. There are pics of this.

Worst part: I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN AUSTIN POWERS!

Swag's picture

I will have to go to an Aku party.

I honestly have no idea what to expect.

Akuf's picture

...and/or approved to attend by me, or I will introduce you to Veronica the Persuader

And seeing as how you are not a facebook friend, well looks like you are SoL.

Sucka

MauriceRevek's picture

For the comic relief possibilities.

Akuf's picture

...but look on the bright side if swag shows up he will be the comic relief. All people have to do is look at him and laugh or run away.

Coxxorz's picture

He's bound to have a Smurf party soon.

Now that's a drinking game.

MauriceRevek's picture

Lots and lots of booze.

Swag's picture

n/t

Coxxorz's picture

Q-Bert's picture

I got Versed at my last colonoscopy...

... I think ...

People experiencing amnesia as a side effect of midazolam are generally unaware that their memory is impaired.

Coxxorz's picture

Are you sure that's all you got?

MauriceRevek's picture

He also got a long camera shoved up his arse!

HA!

*rim shot*

(no pun intended)

Akuf's picture

No Pun intended.

But your intention was there

Akuf's picture

There was a picture:

And correction Nova Scotia Girl called Revek a girl.

Personal Game Reviewer's picture

I am new here so let me ask the obvious... does this guy always tell tall tales like this? I mean seriously, Austin Powers? Show me a woman who would willingly watch Austin Powers. When I was single I couldn't get any girl to sit down and watch Austin Powers and here Akuf is claiming he had 5 Hugh Hefner style kicking around drinking and watching it? I call SHENANIGANS!

Akuf's picture

...told others on this site.

I am a PUA. I have read and studied the Mystery Method and The Game.

And I am pretty good with the ladies.

As one girl once told me: "You're are like the Incredible Hulk and Shrek all in one. You have the strength and confidence of the Incredible Hulk and the boyish/teddy bearish charm of Shrek."

Apparently that was a compliment.

Akuf's picture

They are not tall tales...
You can ask Revek he was there.

MauriceRevek's picture

That there were at least 5 beutiful women there. And all of them have seen Austin Powers. In fact, Aku was one of two people present who had not seen the movies.

There was a claim at one point that he had not sen team America. But it turned out to be a case of mistaken identity.

Hmm. I now have the urge to watch Team America.

America! $&@€ Yeah!

Akuf's picture

...Will be the next party...

Probably in October after the XXX party.

MauriceRevek's picture

Had a bit too much to drink.

REG1 and MG go upstairs to prepare plates of cold cuts, cheez and bread for snaking.

Upon return, they placed the plates on tables.

Aku: Ah, my favorite girls return.

LG2: They are your favorite girls?

Aku: You're all my favorite girls!

LG2: Revek Is your favorite girl!!!

Aku spews beer all over his carpet, narrowly missing LG2.

Aku was sitting next to me, LG2 was sitting accross from me, and Reg1 and MG had moved away, and were no longer in this exchange. In fact, they were on oposite sides of the table.

Aku did take a picture that he was supposed to post along with the story.

Coxxorz's picture

Methinks some of these exploits play out differently in reality than his fogged mind remembers them.

Although I am curious about the "snaking".

Akuf's picture

You sure???

Yes I was drunk, those damn rules by this point I already drank 3 Gossers.

I am going to ask LG2. I think you are wrong.

To further an even more embarrassing moment.

Before the party started, all the guests were in the Kitchen (like every other party).

a discussion on body weight started.

Someone asked my weight...

ME: Well I am 280 lbs.
REG1: True but you are not that heavy.
Me: Uh, What do you mean?
REG1: [With a funny look on her face] Sweetheart, you really aren't that heavy.
Me: How do you know that?

Everyone else in the room sat there and stared at me with a bewildered wonder.
Then when I got what she was saying. I turned a nice shade of red with everyone laughing at me, I had to walk away in shame.

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