"Oh yeah, now it's gonna get personal!"

Setting yet another Call of Duty Zombie Mode record

"Tonight was like one of those nights in the old days when we didn't plan anything. Frustration hit us at every turn."

– I stole this quote from a work email I received first thing this morning. It seemed all too appropriate.

Graybush and I play Call of Duty Zombie mode a lot. I know, I know.

Anyway, we have learned many things about Zombie Mode. We have become Zombie Mode connoisseurs, you might say.

So some games don't start well...

This one didn't.

Some games are bad in the middle portion...

This one was really bad in the middle portion. Capital B bad.

This one got bad starting at Level 13. I had already gone down once at this point (Level 4) and Graybush had finished that Level on his own and then suger daddied me through enough doors to buy a shotgun.

Our habit, once we have floor guys wandering around the place, is to park our characters on a bridge above the secondary courtyard and leave our Xbox's to go an get drinks, pee, check in with that stranger who lives upstairs, you know, the usual.

So with two floor guys available, I parked my character and went for a drink. Touched base with the woman who lives in my house and wandered back down to my Xbox.

Hmmm, why is my character holding a pistol? Why is he so close to the ground? Why is my screen all red? More interesting... why is a horde of Zombies chasing Graybush across the map?

Oh great, my character is down.

Blackwalt: "What did you do?"

Graybush: "They both died! Spontaneously!"

Sure they did.

Hey, look at that. Now my character is dead. Let's spectate Graybush through Level 13 shall we.

And I did, all the way through Level 13, which he survived quite well on his own. Makes me superfluous. However, we assumed I would still have my monkey bombs and bouncing betty's when I revived at the start of Level 14.


Graybush spending hours looking for the perfect weapon: Don't worry about Blackwalt or anything...

Graybush: "it's worth keeping you around for the monkeys alone."

Now that's a fair statement of my Zombie Mode value, isn't it?

We realized that I only had $270 to my name and would revive across the map. Getting to the catwalk would be entertaining. Not to mention that the only weapon I could afford was a Kar98K. A single shot bolt action rifle. Not much use on Level 14 zombies but still better than my service pistol.

Respawning was a good news bad news thing:

• Bad News: No monkeys. No betty's. So much for any value
• Good News: I spawned right next to the catwalk. With $1500.

Blackwalt: "I got $1500. I'm buying a STG-44."

Graybush: "Where did you get $1500 from?"

Blackwalt: "No idea but I'm still buying a STG-44."

We figure it was from kind developers who wanted you to at least have a chance.

"Perhaps you are of use."

Nikolai Belinski – After getting revived.

Unfortunately, still not much use against Level 14 Zombies. Not being able to kill Zombies meant my goal became trying to earn enough money to reload my STG-44 for the next Level. While cowering behind Graybush.

Cowering behind Graybush and doing my best to shoot past him and earn enough money to survive the next level.

Normally, I play in front with Graybush behind me. I move a little and I occasionally block Graybush's shot. Not often, as we have practiced this a lot.

Not so Graybush, who played the front position like a Mexican jumping bean on steroids.

Blackwalt: "Goddammit, pick a side!"

Graybush: "I'm not used to playing in front!"

So I had limited ammo and was wasting most of it in the back of Graybush's head. And shooting Graybush has no cash value, just entertainment value. I was very entertained.

It was at least four levels like that until I got remotely close to where we would normally be. It wasn't until Level 24 that I had all my perks back, good weapons and enough cash to stay alive.

Of course, that's when I fell off the catwalk – the second time (in my defense the first time a Zombie pushed me over). We have learned that when someone falls or a power up becomes available the first thing you do is throw a monkey bomb.

Of course, when the fallee is the only one who has monkey bombs things get interesting.

You have to avoid the Zombies while prepping and throwing the monkey bomb.

Throwing a monkey bomb takes about three seconds – three long seconds.

Remember the Mexican jumping bean comment? It's kind of like that only more random. Once you toss the monkey bomb and the zombies swarm to it you usually have time to get back in position. Just watch out for Hell Hounds, they are immune to monkey bombs.


Hands, hands, everywhere a hand: Level 29 which was a minor miracle.

So we made to Level 29 and we both had money, kind of, and I was stuck with the damn browning again. That damn Tickle Trunk has an evil sense of humour. After Level 25 or so the light machine guns become less practical. Workable but it takes a little more effort and better aim to kill a zombie. The Double Tap Root Beer perk is required.

Just as an aside, if you lose all your Perks it costs $9000 total to get them all back again. Personal experience. Many times.

Other bad things that happened on the way to Level 38:

• I fell off the catwalk twice. Accidentally.
• I went down 6 times and was revived 3 times. Think about that math.
• Graybush went down 3 times and was revived 2 times. That's the correct number.
  
• I hate the Browning yet I was stuck with it for 6 levels straight due to continual Max Ammos. Really annoying.
• Graybush

Graybush communing with the Tickle Trunk: "Oh please, oh please, oh please."


Level 38 was a new record by the way. This is at the end of Level 38 with floor guys wandering around. We are both trying to get weapons good enough for a chance to survive Level 39.

Blackwalt: "Are you praying?"

Graybush: "... maybe ..."

Blackwalt: "The Tickle Trunk is a fickle god"

Graybush: "That's why I'm praying!."

It must have worked as we both got the weapons we wanted. Graybush with a Wunderwaffe DG-3 JZ and a Porter's X2 Ray Gun and Blackwalt with a Porter's X2 Ray Gun and a Barracuda FU-A11. Unfortunately only one team member can have a Wunderwaffe at a time.

It didn't help. Monkeys, betty's, Wunderwaffe, ray-guns, upgraded light machine guns and perks only got us so far. We went down fairly early in Level 39, somewhere between one third and halfway through. Not totally embarrassing but we had hoped for more.


Look at those headshots: Blackwalt wins again! 223 - 169


It could have been a much shorter Level 39 as Graybush had gone down late in Level 38 and lost all his perks.

We had this conversation a split second before Graybush killed the floor guys to start Level 39:

Blackwalt: "Did you remember to buy all your perks again"

Graybush: "uhh, no, be right back"

Blackwalt: "I'll wait..."

Some games don't start well. Some games don't end well.

Level 39. A new HoC Call of Duty Zombie mode record. Next up, Level 40.