Just a reminder, Call of Duty: Black Ops releases tonight at midnight.

Here are the deals, in case you'll be stopping by for some swag. Be aware that Wal Mart is also opening at midnight, including several Ottawa locations. No idea of the price or potential goodies there. Does getting groped by a druggie count as a prize?

The Event

Somehow, by sheer luck, I arrive moments after Dark Nightowl, just like at the Halo: Reach launch. I casually cut in front of the half dozen or so people behind him (sorry suckers) and relay the bad news: we're around 120th in line. No toque for you.

With lots of time to reflect (due to the lack of vacation photos) on our failure, I had an epiphany. It occurred to me that while arriving half an hour before midnight was sufficient for the Halo launch, this game was available for both gaming consoles, thus the record turnout.

Even the Future Shop denizens were lined up around the corner, despite their lame attempt to unload the leftover camo headsets from the previous two events as some kind of "bonus". The EB Games crowd at the dark end of the parking lot trailed off into the blackness as usual, making an exact count impossible.

S...M...R...T

We passed the time reminiscing of midnight launches of days gone by (a couple weeks ago, actually), and mocking the Domino's delivery car slowly trolling along the line, no doubt looking for the "tallish young guy with a hat" who ordered it from his iPhone. Well, at least until we could smell the sweet warm goodness of it's doughy flesh waft through the air. We were puzzled by the fact that the only people we saw actually eating were having Pizza Pizza. And I have no idea where that came from either, as the only pizza joint in the area is Toppers, with their number clearly visible in neon. Although a burned out bulb caused it to read "Topper's Pizz", possibly explaining their choice.

Another object of amusement were these ass clowns; one of which wore shorts, and the other a t-shirt, despite the sub-zero weather. Nightowl and I tried to suppress our laughter as a third member of the party relayed some dire news from a friend in another town on the phone: their shrewd preorder of the Black Ops T-Shirt and 12 Months Live bundle for $59.99 did NOT, in fact, include the game.

Won't be long now: fingers too cold to hold camera steady

Right at midnight the line finally moved, and several minutes later, the first few emerged victoriously with their loot. Although they looked more exhausted than exuberant... waiting outside in the cold for three hours will do that to you.

I can almost taste it

As usual, the crowd was consumed in shifts, with several dozen at a time engulfed by Best Buy's bright, warm portal. Nightowl pointed out the sharp disparity between the number of people entering and leaving, prompting much Ackbarian speculation about the corporation's plans for humankind. But it wasn't long before the sweet smell of new pixels and shrinkwrap gently caressed our red cheeks, melting all suspicion.

Screw the shopping carts, I'm making a break for it

Okay, maybe not

Inside the store, it looked as though the waiting was finally over as the burly man in blue released our group into the inner sanctum... only to stop the surge exactly where Nightowl and I were standing.

Going... going...

Once at the final lineup, we were forced to endure the further torture of watching the last of the toques being handed out.

No shortage here

At least we could laugh at Blackwalt, and his irrational insistence on pre-ordering the RC Car Edition elsewhere.

Tadaa

Yay! Loot acquired! It's... a... piece of paper in a baggie.

EB ..MES?

At least I could console myself by mocking the fools still in line outside EB Games. Also by gunning the engine up to ramming speed while driving directly at them.

Must remember to bring eggs next time.