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Lessons From Aku...


By Akuf - Posted on 10 May 2011

As some of you know I write short stories and lyrics for some songs. Some times those lyrics start off as poems for girls. Here is a list of some of the ones that well, DON'T WORK and weren't written by me.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.
*************************
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your mother.
*************************
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
**************************
Of loving beauty you float with grace.
If only you could hide your face.
****************************
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.
This describes everything you are not.
******************************
I want to feel your sweet embrace,
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.
*******************************
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
************************************
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
************************************
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
***************************************
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in, to smell this way?
****************************************
My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "Go To Hell".
*******************************************
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Q-Bert's picture

... not poems.

Stormblade's picture

Limericks are very specific. Like This:

There once was a man from Sherbrooke
Who programs the same as he cooks
When he is coding
There's a sense of foreboding
And results aren't as good as they look

I had a much more disgusting version, but there are ladies present.

Q-Bert's picture

Don't worry, they left a looooong time ago.

Coxxorz's picture

That was your [MOD EDIT]!

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