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The Expendables Review
So who showed up to see this movie yesterday?
Blackwalt: Fail
Revek: Win
Aku: Fail
Q-bert: Fail (too manly for him)
swag: Win
Coxxorz: Fail (wasn't invited, but still).
Now the review.
The Good:
1) Dolph Lundgren blowing a guys torso off in the first scene.
2) Stallone, Willis, and Schwarzenegger all together in one scene.
3) Mindless explosions and shooting.
The Bad:
1) It ends.
2) Not Enough Dolph
3) No JCVD
Score: 
-
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http://www.herdofcats.ca/node/5061
we didn't know this till today.
I just talked to him and he gives it a resounding "meh."
Inception and SPvsTW FTW.
And Revek α TW (the world)
Therefore: Revek + "meh" = GOOD movie.
QED
Good logic.
n/t
Why didn't someone tell me this?!!!!
And then invite me?!!!!!
I had invited Q-Bert and Blackwalt out of form. It is a well known fact that any movie I am interested in is avoided like the plague by clan members, with the possible exception of Stormblade, as he has self-admittedly similar bad tastes in movies, and Swag, as he is too young to know the difference.
As for Arnold's appearance, just watch the trailer. That was pretty much the extent of his and Bruce's cameo.
Yes, I found the movie to be "meh". The dialogue was composed around the stunts and action to provide an excuse for the slow parts, and was written entirely to set up the various one-liners that are common to these films. Sly now has joined the ranks of the frozen expression from too manny face lifts, and can no longer move his eye brows, which gives him kind of a sad puppy dog kind of expression. In a medium where everything is visual, and the face is used to convey so much, it takes too much away from a scene if your face cannot change at all. I was starting to feel like I was watching Team America. Maybe that could be his next movie, star along side the pupets from Team America, he would blend right in.
Any dialogue Jet Li had was painfully delivered. As in "I can't believe I have to say this crap" kind of delivery. "I need more money. I have a familly. My familly needs more money." I think they brought him in as a backup from not being able to get JCVD or Segal.
I have no idea why they felt the need to do the whole cauliflower ear bit with Randy Couture. Granted any time you would be in his presence, you would get an incredible urge to squeeze it to see what it felt like, and would probably not be able to take your eyes off of it. I guess that was the besxt they could come up with for a "kill time while in the plane" scene.
I did like Mickey Rourk's character. He does play that kind of person very well. Shame they did not bring him along for any of the fights, but that would have been too many people.
One thing that was a stand out. The auto shot gun. 20 rounds of devestation. Every single zombie killing game must have one of these. Not the 8 rounds rapid fire kind. 20 tommy gun style round clip that you can change in 5 seconds of gun roaring, pulp making, killing machine.
In fact, I think the shot gun was the star of the movie.
I give the shot gun:
The movie,
.
(swag edit: there doesn't seem to be a 2.5 paws anymore, this is the best I could do).
Someone please add paws, have to go to meeting.
And correct anything that I may have missed.
Apology accepted.
Revek sent out the invite.